As I Am

by Mya Byrne

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1.
04:17
Wordless and weary, I took our good faith in vain begging your forgiveness, but it's hard to forget the pain it's hard to get past the teardrops staining your cheek reflecting the moonlight like you're drawn in relief I once saw a statue, sleeping under an iron truss tears stained his face but his sadness was only rust I guess if you polished him those traces would disappear but when it comes down to me and you I fear they'll always be there I see children playing little boy and little girl games I wish we too were playing, pretending our teardrops were rain running inside, wet hair plastered to our necks a romance we made up then broke just to forget And in me you see a stranger, someone you thought you knew ink spilled, a quill collapsed on the last line of a picture you drew Without a kind gesture, a warning, or even a gasp a moment that wiping your tears could never put back
2.
04:00
Have you been broken? all shards and pieces hands rough and bleeding all folds and creases Your pain is one thing your heart's another Where is your sister? Where is your mother? But your shame will leave you if you let her in cast your guilt down there is no sin You swear you've seen her face before Your lost angel's at your door She was a child, grew up beside you A mirror hoping that you would see through All your days running from her sweet face So much like yours when your finger traced But she never left you, let her in pull off your mask Look true and listen You swear you've heard her voice before Your lost angel's at your door She knew you before you were a man And she'll love you, no matter where you stand Have you heard someone in your sad mind talks like you used to, so sweet and kind She's more than trinkets, more than gold Let her cross the threshold, she's in your soul And your tears will leave you when you let her in Open up, with arms embracing And you swear you've heard her voice before Your lost angel's at your door And you know you've known her long before Your lost angel's at your door
3.
When you walk in the reeds and the rushes with the cattails tall as your head Better not get caught in the mud we'll leave you boy, you're gone for dead Tide comes in, you'll be splashing When the waves come up to your knees You better not mess with the wide, wide river, It's gonna leave you begging, please Well, it looks so safe when the water's low and the bugs come buzzing up high 'Round your head when you walk through the bushes Son, that's where you're gonna die And it sure looks pretty when the sun's sinking low The rays turn pink in the trees But you better not mess with the wide, wide river, It's gonna leave you begging, please And the current don't show you no mercy It's stronger than you'll ever be All it wants is to sweep you away from the Gulf, to the sea... Most folks who go down never come back When the surge ends, we find 'em washed out You don't watch your step, you'll be next in line Son't you even have one doubt When that bastard tide comes in for you It ain't no kind of a tease You better not mess with the wide, wide river, It's gonna leave you begging, please When the sun turns pink in the trees Gonna bring you to your knees oooooohhh...last time
4.
Don't Hurt No One No More There was a moment, a sweet sweet moment when you gave to me all the emotion, every bit of love you could wrangle free Forever was it reach it seemed But I couldn't let that be: I don't hurt no one no more. Don't hurt no one no more. There was a memory, a sweet sweet memory of what could have been Watchin velvet sunrise cross the circles round your eyes in our unmade bed Believe me, all I told you was true I just couldn't give myself to you: I don't hurt no one no more. Don't hurt no one no more. Oh, sugar darlin, I can't keep fallin my love only causes pain So here we are baby, I don't know if I'll make it to my own bitter end I got so much to uncover to learn to be your lover let alone your friend So please let me move on I wish I didn't have to be gone: I don't hurt no one no more Don't hurt no one no more.
5.
Leave on the next wind Warm current rising Where the southland begins Leave on the next wind Leave on the next wind with the red tail hawks circling when the tree branches thin leave on the next wind Where a soft sun is shining, you'll find me On the drifts of the quietest waves Where stones become tossed into pebbles and turned to sand I'll meet you coming my way Leave on the next wind With the wild cranes formation Where that arrow is pinned Leave on the next wind In the shoals, where summer stars linger On the drifts of the low country waves Where shore becomes rippled by breakers, where weary birds land I'll meet you coming my way Leave on the next wind Warm current rising Where the southland begins Leave on the next wind When autumn comes in leave on the next wind
6.
Who moves forth without a name? Oh, the power of the Lord Who casts sin and lifts all blame? Oh, the power of the Lord You been doubting down inside Get smart quick, get the devil behind Who builds prayer into a flame? Oh, the power of the Lord Who’s gonna take the blade off your throat? Oh, the power of the Lord Teach you faith in how to come so close? Oh, the power of the Lord You been doubting in your mind Get smart quick, get the demon behind Who’s gonna teach you bout the hands of mercy? Oh, the power of the Lord Oh, the power – the power of the Lord Oh, the power of the Lord Oh, the power – the power of the Lord Oh, the power of the Lord Who moves the stars above their secrets? Oh, the power of the Lord Who’s gonna show you the fire in Eden? Oh, the power of the Lord You’ve been doubting in your mind You better get smart quick, before you’re cast aside Who’s gonna show you the truth you’re fightin Oh, the power of the Lord Oh, the power – the power of the Lord Oh, the power of the Lord Oh, the power – the power of the Lord Oh, the power of the Lord Who’s gonna teach you 'bout the dime store prophet… Preacherman tryin to start a riot… Teach you love and how to keep it… Everything you always been seekin… Who’s gonna teach you bout the hands of mercy…
7.
04:41
You think this spotlight makes me look innocent But it’s the end of the night, and I need a stimulant Last note’s been sung, I’m about to send home the band And I need a man. I’ve made lotsa trouble, and I’ve made a lot of noise Tired of playing mess-around in the company of boys It’s getting late, and I just have one demand: I need a man. I need a man, someone who knows where to put his hands Who will waste no time in trying to woo me as a friend I need a man, a means to a good end To put a smile on my face again and again some folks say they're gonna treat you right They’ll wake you up with breakfast after keeping you warm all night that’s a pretty picture, but I’m done with making plans I need a man. I need a man, someone who doesn’t give a damn About anything but making me feel good just as I am I need a man, who will not pretend That I’d want anything more than those four words intend So come on baby, while some hours away I don't need roses - I don't need you to stay Walk me home, I think you understand I need a man.
8.
All these smarts; nobody knows what’s going on Try to tame the tide, you’ll find it’s much too strong It’s hard to pick yourself up and move along When you’re trained so well to stay where they think you belong It’s a shame people don’t see what kind of shape we’re in Spending days and nights caught up in arguin Can’t see when wool is pulled, when sugar’s saccharin When a fourteen-buck martini’s made of bathtub gin All these smarts and no one seems to know What’s for real and what’s just a talk show They drink the tonic down, go with the flow While the soap opera becomes the status quo Press trades in distractions, all the news that fits Yellow stuff about no-good reds and anarchists Laws got changed to make us all antagonists But we're so wound up we don’t see what’s gone amiss All these smarts and folks don’t seem to care Bout nothing except which starlet was caught in her underwear But when your right to have a right is taken, laissez-faire You’d be smart to see what’s going down right over there All these smarts; nobody knows what’s going on Try to tame the tide, you’ll find it’s much too strong It’s hard to pick back up and move along When you’re trained so well to stay where they say you belong
9.
Lay down your head and follow the angels for they will lead you to the final release no need to worry for those left behind you Someday we'll travel the road of forgotten dreams Lay down your head this body's a burden bound by the hope we could settle our sins and I know you're weary from counting our sorrows scattered like coins on the road of forgotten dreams Farewell to darkness farewell to pain Swim in salvation forgive the tears and the blame I'll keep your story safe in my heart And somehow you'll shine Yes you'll shine You will shine You will shine You'll be the light on the road of forgotten dreams
10.
Well, I ride a mail train 
Can’t buy a thrill
 I’ve been up all night
 Leanin on the windowsill
 And if I die on top of the hill…
 if I don’t make it
, you know my baby will Don’t the moon look good
 Shinin through the trees?
 Don’t the brakeman look good 
Flagging down the Double E?
 Don’t the sun look good
 Goin down over the sea? 
Don’t my gal look fine
 When she’s comin after me? Now the wintertime is coming
 The windows are filled with frost 
I went to tell everybody
 But I could not get across
 Well, I wanna be your lover, baby 
I don’t wanna be your boss 
Don’t say I never warned you
 When your train gets lost 
Don’t say I never warned you
 When your train gets lost....

about

Mya Byrne's debut album!

credits

released January 23, 2015

Produced and mixed by Neale Eckstein at Fox Run Studio
Mastered by Mark Dann

Engineered by Neale Eckstein and Mya Byrne

Additional recording by Chris Kelly, Jagoda, Adam Sachs/Trout Recording, Katherine Etzel, Dean Berner, Mark Marshall, and Scott Tofte

All songs written by Mya Byrne, with the exception of:
Forgotten Dreams, by Marci Geller
It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train To Cry, by Bob Dylan
Lost Angel, by Mya Byrne and Bethel Steele

Photography by Neale Eckstein and Emily Raw

Birds by Annie Danger

Personnel:

Chris Kelly ­- bass, guitar synth, whistle

Andy Mac­ - drums

Hugh McGowan -­ electric guitar (tracks 1, 7)

Mark Marshall - electric guitar (tracks 1, 4)

Jagoda - percussion (track 5)

Kenny White -­ piano + organ

Neale Eckstein - keyboards (tracks 3, 4)

Katherine Etzel, Karen Dahlstrom, Jen McDearman - vocal harmonies (tracks 4, 7, 9)

Eric Schwartz, Karyn Oliver, David Buskin - vocal harmonies (track 6)

Dean Berner - steel guitar (track 2)

Bethel Steele - electric guitar (track 2)

Mya Byrne - ­ acoustic, electric and slide guitars

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Mya Byrne San Francisco, California

Mya Byrne is a badass trans lady who will, who will, rock you.

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